Respite care: how to access it

Why respite matters

Looking after someone with dementia is sustained, demanding and largely invisible. Without breaks, carers develop measurable physical and mental health consequences, with rates of depression and anxiety two to three times the general population. The 2024 Carers UK State of Caring report found that 4 in 5 carers describe their physical or mental health as having suffered as a result of caring.

Respite is one of the most useful interventions to protect both the carer and the person being cared for. The general guideline is at least half a day off each week and at least a week off each year.

The options

Sitting services

A few hours at home with the person while you go out. Provided by:

• Crossroads Care and similar charities;
• Age UK volunteer sitting services;
• Paid carers from a homecare agency;
• Friends and family.

Day care and day services

Half-day or full-day attendance at a day centre, often with transport. The day centre provides activity, social contact, meals and personal care if needed. Common in moderate dementia. Local authority and charity provision varies.

Memory Cafes

Not strictly respite (you usually attend together), but provide a structured social outlet that gives both you and the person a break from home routine.

Short stays in a care home

A planned stay of a few days to two weeks in a residential or specialist dementia care home. Provides a substantial break for the carer and exposure to a structured care environment for the person. Bookable directly or through the local authority.

Holiday respite

Specialist holiday providers (Revitalise, Vitalise) offer accessible holidays with care included. Suitable for the person with dementia (sometimes with carer) or for the carer to go alone.

Emergency respite

For unexpected situations (carer illness, family crisis). Local authority emergency provision is available; advance contact establishes what is locally on offer.

How to access

Local authority routes

Request a Carer's Assessment from your local council's adult social care team under the Care Act 2014 (England) or equivalent in other UK nations. The assessment can result in:

• Direct provision of respite (a contracted day centre place, or care home stay);
• Direct payments to arrange your own respite;
• One-off respite grants;
• Funded sitting services.

Eligibility is means-tested. Many people self-fund some or all of their respite.

Charity routes

• Carers Trust local network: respite grants and services;
• Alzheimer's Society Dementia Connect for signposting;
• Dementia UK Admiral Nurses: family-focused support;
• Local Age UK: day services and sitting;
• Marie Curie: respite for carers of people with advanced illness.

Self-funded

Private day care typically £40 to £80 per day. Sitting services £15 to £25 per hour. Short care home stays £150 to £300 per night. Often cost-effective compared to round-the-clock care.

Making respite work

Practical considerations:

• Build up gradually: a 3-hour sitter visit before a full day;
• Choose familiar faces where possible;
• Brief the carer or service with a Life Story Book or summary;
• Maintain routine where possible (the same day each week, the same time);
• Allow time for both you and the person to adjust;
• Use the time on something restorative, not chores;
• Recognise feelings of guilt; they are normal but not a reason to refuse respite.

The case for respite

Respite is not selfish; it is essential. A carer who has had a break is a better carer. A carer who has not had a break is at risk of crisis, hospital admission and the breakdown of home-based care. Studies show that regular respite delays or prevents permanent residential care placement.